By JUDAH FRIEDMAN June 6, 2017, 12:03 am
*Warning: You May Be a Carrier
Call it Global Stockholm Syndrome, Mass Psychogenic Illness, or the Leftist Plague, as it will be called, in a hundred years, by grandparents who are explaining to their grandchildren the demise of Western civilization. The disease that leaves the sufferer with not an ounce of critical thinking ability – and, yes, leftism is a disease, one that is airborne, one that is spreading rapidly, and one that, sadly, there is no cure for.
First, we have to diagnose leftism, in the hopes that we can one day find a cure and even better, a vaccine to save future children the pain and suffering that goes along with this horrible disease. So, if you think you are coming down with symptoms, or fear loved ones are, or that 90 percent of your Facebook page has been infected with the leftist plague, here are the 20 ways of the “am I,” or “are you,” or “are they” leftist test:
- Climate change is more of a threat than Islamic extremism.
- You think the cure for terrorism is a hug.
- You think the president or people on the right are more dangerous than Islamic terrorism.
- You watch The View.
- You think Joe and Mika make a cute couple.
- You were saddened by the television show Girls being canceled.
- You have more disdain for friends who think differently than jihadists who want to kill you.
- You need a “safe space.”
- You think people should be fired for free speech.
- You find yourself protesting in Birkenstocks.
- You agree with Tucker’s second guest.
- The president has caused you to lose sleep, given you rashes, harmed your sex life, or “broken you.”
- You are or want to be a pundit on CNN or MSNBC.
- You find Samantha Bee even mildly amusing.
- You take ten private jets to a climate change summit
- You have private armed security and call for gun control.
- You are in the entertainment industry; yes, there are a handful of exceptions, and I mean a handful.
- You have had a sexual fantasy featuring Bernie Sanders or Sarah Silverman and think a summer home in Venezuela sounds romantic.
- You find Don Lemon informative.
- You haven’t laughed once while reading this.
The list could keep going, and leftism, like alcoholism, is a disease that only the sufferer can truly diagnose. But, if you have answered “yes” to at least one of these, I would highly suggest getting immediate medical attention. If you are not seeing a psychiatrist, there is no time like the present, and if you get that message asking if this is a medical emergency, please call 911; please do. If you have answered “yes” to three or more of these questions, an exorcism would be more beneficial. I’m afraid that, even with all the advances in modern medicine and therapy, your disease might be beyond human repair.